This is a part of a series of nearly unedited conversations (edits include spelling corrections, grammar corrections and other slight fixes) that I’ve had online with men in chat rooms devoted to rape fantasy. While the rooms are dedicated to fantasy, the men there usually want to talk about actual rape, not make-believe, and in my experience these guys start off the bat asking if I had been raped, sometimes using degrading language.
Bored tonight, so I went back to the rape fantasy chat room to see what people were up to. No big whoop. A guy IM’s me and …
McCreepy: and what is your real age ?
McCreepy: what kind of work do you do?
McCreepy: ***thinking of different fantasies I could do to you***
Me: office work
McCreepy: and what do you look like in real life
Me: nothing special
McCreepy: dont be shy, tell Me
Me: i’m not shy, i just hate the damned question
McCreepy: well its a fairly common one
Me: yeah, and that’s why i hate it. it’s fucking boring and you won’t see me anyhow, so what’s it matter?
McCreepy: guys are visual
Me: use your imagination
McCreepy: you wont last long with that attitude, you know that
Me: won’t last long?
McCreepy: will get you banned of the server
Me: for not describing my looks?
McCreepy: pretty much
Me: off the server? ((For those who don’t know, you can ban people from a certain chat room or channel, or you can bank them from the entire server. People who run a given channel or chat room can ban from their own room. Banning them from a server is a bigger to-do.))
McCreepy: attitude on girls doesnt work well here
Me: off the channel, maybe. off the server? don’t think so.
(there’s no communication for several minutes, then my router goes dead. No big whoop, happens about once an hour in my house…)
McCreepy: got disconnected, did you?
McCreepy: imagine that ((Because I’m supposed to think he did it?))
Me: oh please
(Several minutes go by again, and then …)
^MissTaken: I operate the channel. are you here
^MissTaken: is there a problem tonight?
Me: with what?
^MissTaken: understand you don’t like to describe yourself or have other issues like that?
Me: i think it’s an annoying question, yes
^MissTaken: prefer a ban?
Me: i’m obligated to provide a description?
^MissTaken: if asked
^MissTaken: am I clear?
Me: i thought the channel says “consensual”
^MissTaken: if you are going to argue
^MissTaken: you will find yourself banned
^MissTaken: am I clear?
Me: so to be clear, even though the channel says “consensual fantasy,” i am nonetheless obligated to answer questions i’m not comfortable answering.
Me: how is that consensual?
^MissTaken: ok, will just ban you
Me: for not describing myself to strangers.
Me: who else is an op here, i think there should be more opinions on this.
^MissTaken: my room
Me: ok, then. i don’t think you understand the meaning of “consensual.”
^MissTaken: then Ill just change it quick
^MissTaken: look, if you are going to be an attitude problem
^MissTaken: you arent going to be allowed here anymore
^MissTaken: am I clear
Me: i’m not here for anyone else’s entertainment than my own, and if i don’t feel like describing myself to someone, i don’t have to. and if you’re going to compel people to do it or threaten them with a ban, you don’t understand what “consensual” means.
^MissTaken: ok, leave
Me: you’re an idiot. am *i* clear?
And at that point, I am kicked off the server — not banned. I come right back. And as of me writing this, I’m still sitting there. I’ve never been much for blindly respecting authority. I also don’t give a shit about male privilege or women who enforce it on other women.
- Are Rape Fantasies Okay? (drlauraberman.com)
- Why Do People Have Rape Fantasies? (thoughtcatalog.com)