Rape / Rape Culture / Rape Tourists

Conversations with Rape Tourists: Fudd

This is a part of a series of nearly unedited conversations (edits include spelling corrections, grammar corrections and other slight fixes) that I’ve had online with men in chat rooms devoted to rape fantasy. While the rooms are dedicated to fantasy, the men there usually want to talk about actual rape, not make-believe, and in my experience these guys start off the bat asking if I had been raped, sometimes using degrading language. 

 It shouldn’t be construed that these men are actually rapists or want to commit real rape. Fantasies are normal and so is curiosity. So for that reason I think of theses guys as tourists, not rapists. However, some have told me they have committed actual rape. These posts are meant to give a window into the mind of some men and how they think about rape. The names of the men have been changed and all identifying information has been removed. Please proceed with caution if this concept is upsetting to you. If this triggers you and you need to talk with someone about it, please contact RAINN at 1-800-656-4673.

Fudd: I am Fudd 40M and you?

Temira: F 35

Fudd: What brings you here? chat? fantasy? rl?

Temira: Curiosity

Fudd: I see

Fudd: About being raped? or?

Temira: About men.

Fudd: And what is it that makes you curious about men?

Temira: Why some like rape, if they like just the fantasy of it or also the reality, etc

Fudd: I like both, fantasy for practical reasons.

Fudd: Are you attracted to abusive men?

Temira: And real?

Temira: No

Fudd: Yes real too, very much so but my life is too precious to spend it in jail

Fudd: But given the right opportunity I would not hesitate

Temira: If you were guaranteed not to get caught?

Fudd: Yes

Temira: You would?

Fudd: Yes, no doubt about it

Temira: Even knowing what it does to a person?

Fudd: That makes it even more exciting and attractive

Temira: How so?

Fudd: I love fucking with someone’s head

Temira: Really.

Temira: Do you know women who have been raped?

Fudd: Yes I do

Fudd: Have you ever been raped?

Temira: Yes

Fudd: When? and how?

Temira: 13 years ago. What do you mean by how?

Fudd: How did the rape happen? under what circumstances?

Temira: A date, in my home

Fudd: I see

Fudd: Did you report him?

Temira: No

Fudd: Why not?

Temira: I knew nothing would come of it

Fudd: Isn’t that a very fatalistic and passive view?

Fudd: Are you submissive?

Temira: I’m not now, though I was more then, and it is a realistic view. Most prosecutors only take the “good” rapes – a stranger breaking into a house, etc.

Temira: Date rapes? Forget it.

Fudd: Okay

Fudd: Do you feel fucked by it?

Temira: Fucked by it?

Fudd: Fucked up lol

Fudd: Sorry, my bad

Temira: I wouldn’t say so, but it was more than anyone should have to go through

Fudd: Okay

Fudd: What do you look like?

Temira: Just average

Fudd: No woman is average, that is such huge cliche

Temira: OK, less than average

Fudd: Can you back that claim up?

Temira: I’m not going to describe myself or share a picture

Fudd: Pity

Temira: Shrugs

Fudd: Are you looking for an explaination why you got raped?

Temira: Oh, I know why

Temira: He was a self-entitled asshole

Fudd: LOL

Fudd: And you dated him

Fudd: An unwise choice heh?

Temira: Once

Fudd: So if you know why you got raped, what is it really what you look for here?

Temira: How too many men come to the conclusion that this is an OK thing to do to someone

Fudd: That thought keeps you occupied?

Fudd: Even though you cannot change anything about it?

Temira: I’m curious about people

Fudd: Something we share then

Fudd: What do you do in life?

Temira: I’m a writer

Fudd: What do you write about?

Temira: Nothing interesting, most of the time

Fudd: Not a very exciting occupation then

Temira: I like it just fine

Fudd: What do you think or feel when you hear about a woman being raped?

Temira: It makes me sad

Fudd: Understandable

Fudd: It makes me excited

Temira: Well, it’s nice you can get off on human misery, I guess.

Fudd: That’s your way of viewing it

Fudd: Do you feel miserable?

Temira: Not most days

Fudd: Then I wouldn’t be getting off over miserable you

Temira: How would you feel if the woman who got raped was someone close to you – would it still be a turn-on?

Fudd: Tery much so

Fudd: Surprised?

Temira: Even as you watched her cry, or feel like hurting herself, or fall into depression?

Fudd: Yes, because I would encourage her to turn that depression and affliction into a sexual addiction

Fudd: I take it the above statements all apply to you?

Temira: Even if it was your mother or sister?

Fudd: No, that would be impossible. I dont have a sexual relationship with either

Fudd: Ideally i’d like it to be my wife/gf

Temira: OK, so say it was a mother or sister who was raped. How would you feel about that?

Fudd: Happy to fairly excited

Fudd: Did the rape change your sex life?

Temira: It didn’t

Fudd: Sounds like it really had a limited impact then

Temira: Why, because it didn’t change how I fuck it’s a limited impact?

Temira: Women are just for fucking, am I right? Is this how you think?

Fudd: The second is certainly true to a point

Fudd: And yes it is a pity that it didn’t change your sex life.

Temira: No it isn’t. I told myself the next day I wouldn’t allow it to.

Fudd: Your bf missed out on an opportunity there

Fudd: I would have kept chipping away at you until you gave in

Fudd: The breaking process is part of the fun

Temira: It wouldn’t have worked

Fudd: You don’t know

Temira: I do

Fudd: Want to try?

Temira: There is nothing you could say or do

Fudd: You’d be surprised

Temira: No, you would

Fudd: Whatever you believe, we will never know because we are not together

Fudd: But you have already revealed weaknesses

Temira: Well, that’s clue number one right there. I never would be with you.

Fudd: Not now no lol

Temira: Not ever

Fudd: Of course not, since you have information about me you wouldn’t have otherwise

Temira: I don’t have space in my life for people that treat others like dirt

Fudd: Then why on earth are you here talking to me? you have just thrown up a contradiction in terminus

Temira: Laughs

Temira: You are not in my life

Temira: I log out, you disappear

Fudd: Then log out

Temira: When I’m ready

Fudd: And stop wasting precious time of your own life

Fudd: You will never be ready to let it go

Temira: Let what go?

Fudd: The rape of course, the fact that you have been scarred for life

Fudd: But what a beautiful scar you have

Temira: Oh, it affected me, sure. But I’ve used it to become better.

Fudd: Just like women are enhanced after a rape, albeit in a different way you would see it

Fudd: Most women I wanted to say

Fudd: So how has it affected you?

Temira: I help other women who have been attacked

Fudd: That’s it? is that the only thing you deem different?

Temira: As though that were small or unimportant

Fudd: To me it is totally trivial

Fudd: What do you find sexually arousing?

Temira: To me, it is immense – people reaching out from their own hurt to help others out of theirs

Temira: That you can’t see that is sad for you.

Fudd: Did you honestly think I would be a proponent of what you do?

Fudd: That would be quite politically incorrect

Temira: I think you’re talking a lot of bullshit trying to seem more ominous than you are

Fudd: Thanks for your concern but I am far from sad

Fudd: lol, it’s a free world, you are free to believe what ever you want

Fudd: Did I ever say I consider myself ominous?

Temira: No but you’re trying so hard to come across as some malevolent thing

Temira: Shrugs

Fudd: I am not malevolent, on the contrary

Fudd: Shrugs back

Temira: You’re kind of boring me now. I get your shtick.

Fudd: Then leave

Temira: When I’m ready.

Fudd: Then simply stop talking

Temira: If I want

Temira: You have no say over me

Fudd: Shrugs

Fudd: You seem to like doing that

Temira: Does it bother you?

Fudd: Nope, you are free to do as you want

Temira: Agreed 🙂

Fudd: A smiley even?

Temira: Why not, throw caution to the wind

Fudd: boring one minute, smiling the next

Temira: You know what I think?

Temira: I think you’re frustrated that nothing you’ve said has gotten under my skin.

Fudd: A raped woman throwing caution overboard?

Temira: Not working

Fudd: lol

Fudd: I have no intention of you getting under skin. Under IRC? ROTFL

Fudd: On IRC

Temira: Oh, bullshit, sure you did

Fudd: Rolls his eyes

Fudd: Hold on, phone

Temira: You said it yourself, you like to manipulate women who have been raped

Fudd: Back, yes absolutely. I got an incredible buzz out of manipulating females. But I am also realistic enough to know that given these circumstance, ie your personae and the mode of communication, my chances are limited

Fudd: I try to stick to the 80/20 approach

Fudd: Besides; it is not just about raped women

Fudd: There is plenty of fun to be had with ‘non-rapees’

Temira: It’s awesome that you are equal opportunity like that

Temira: But our time is at an end. Bedtime.

Fudd: I do my best, age wise too

Temira: Yes, yes, I’m sure.

Fudd: Sleep tight and lock your windows

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2 thoughts on “Conversations with Rape Tourists: Fudd

  1. The optimist in me wants really badly to disagree. I think it can happen, but it would take a lot.

    I’m not sure why I do these interviews. It started because I really am that curious about human nature. I really do want to understand why. I want to know if these guys actually understand the enourmous harm sexual assault does to a person or if they think it’s not a big deal or what. I want to know what about it is appealing to them. Because, ultimately, the most effective rape prevention has to be aimed at those who are most likely to commit rape – men and boys. And to do that, it helps to know the mindset.

    Then, in doing these interviews, it became apparent just how sick some of these views are. If it were just ignorance, that would be one thing. But so often it is malevolent, even among those who say they’ve never acted on it (and I hope that part is true).

    Maybe I’m putting these chats up here so that people will know what we’re up against. Maybe I’m hoping others might see patterns in the things they say and the ideas they hold so that the monsters among us can be better known and avoided. Maybe I’m just angry and I want to shame them. Maybe I just find it fascinating. It’s probably all of these things.

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